Black Looks - Including an African LGBTIQ+ Archive

Poetry, Transgender


As in isolation, imprisonment by proxy, intimidation,
Harassment, daily chatter about how much tax is
Siphooned off, sitting around, lazing around, aground
As on run aground off the back of a Tsunami, living in;

Isolated then, living in, working out my next move, work?
Writing is work. Overtaken by cissexual animosities voiced
Rolled out when I’m in the bath, while seated on a sweeky
Settee sweeking every time I shift announcing me: “in!”

As in isolation, that self-preserving stay in, engineered living
In order to stay alive, my visibility or the knowledge of me
Was enough to start a communal war of attrition, ongoing.
Cowardice augurs them on, courageous voicings and a lack.

Slack, limited reach is not, can never be a standard space
Truth is relative, never, never absolute since humanoid
In the virtuality of its projections cannot fix diversity in
It’s own image, the absolute, if it exists, is beyond, beyond;

Isolation as in staying in, living in, imprisoned for survival.
Transsexual, genderqueer, lesbian just me, condemned,
Condemned to listening to people’s fears of the unknown:
“It works,” shouts an in-person (male), “didn’t you hear her?”

What’s not to live in for, to cause isolation but this blow:
Mothers pushing their children forward say it now: “man!”
Said a confused child pointing at obvious men. “Not them!”
Said the mother, aiming, aiming, aiming, “now!” “Ban!”

Too late but it didn’t stop the jolting feeling as the door closed
How do you talk to an Asiatic woman teaching hatred
Behind the guise of teaching her, teaching kids so narrowly
We wonder how neighbourhoods spawn bombers were born?

Do I call the police? Do I stare into the shy wondering sky?
This is a taint of migration left out of proper media speak.
Left out even by tight lipped politicians eager to be in step.
Left out even by police: “keep a diary, keep a diary,” laughing.

As in isolation. Don’t ask. You played your part, pandering
To the democratic whim in the name of “freedom of speech”
“Old woman, you talk too much. List-ten to me first, list-ten”.
Deepening my pain, intimidating, imprisoning, belittling, see?

Mia Nikasimo (c) October 2011